FOR TODAY -  January 16, 2012

Outside my window:  Gray skies and wind.  Little drifts of melting snow, here and there…promise of rain.

I am listening to:  the click and clack of the keyboard as hubby works from home.  Children in a variety of poses…one on a video game, one playing with a family of gummy bears doomed to die a gruesome death, one complaining of sore throat, another with of an odd rash…yes…doctor appointment at 3:00 p.m.

I am wearing :  faded denims, argyle socks, pink turtleneck and a zippered denim shirt.  Hair in a messy twist…lipstick.

Gratitude list:  my heart is full.  Filled to the brim.  How can I offer to our good God enough thanks and praise for all the blessings He so generously bestows upon this family?  Our Meredith is doing so much better.  She is stronger and happier than she was even last week…many of her challenges following the accident are diminishing.  She is still struggling tremendously with her hearing in her right ear.  I fear this may be permanent.  Her greatest challenges are more of a sensory nature.  She has extreme difficulty in processing sound changes…moving from a quiet automobile to a noisy restaurant is quite difficult.  She states that “all at once it sounds like all the noises are combined.  Voices, music and other noises all jumble together and I have to “separate” them.  It takes a little while to adjust, but I’m managing.”  Most importantly…she sounds happy.  The apathetic tone is gone, her disconnection seems to be resolving itself as well.  She still has healing to accomplish and there are always setbacks.  But I’m so very hopeful for her.  I pray, more than anything, that this experience grows her faith, her love, her gratitude for all the prayers and blessings she’s received as so many loved her through this ordeal.  Thank you…thank you…thank you for your many prayers and words of encouragement.  You have been faithful friends along this journey…you are in my prayers.

From the kitchen:  hot coffee and hot chocolate served throughout the day in my lovely new mugs.  Great big stoneware mugs that keep the coffee hot, hot, hot!  For dinner this evening:  two lovely chickens, stuffed with lemon and rosemary, roasted to perfection and served with mashed garlic and cheese potatoes, baked apples and a fresh, green salad.  Yum…

I am thinking:  about this quarter’s class load.  I’m struggling to keep up with the sheer volume of assignments, terms to memorize, quizzes and early exams, essays and research.  That 4.0 is very convicting…I want to preserve it, but feel I may have bitten off more than I can chew.  Psychology is really killer.  The problem with many online courses are that they are much, much harder than traditional classroom work.  I just can’t be away from home right now.  St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for me!

I am creating:  not creating.  Writing.  Papers.  Lots and lots of papers.  I really need a creative outlet, but so far, this is all there is.

Towards a real education:   Loving my new Kindle Fire and discovering that it is a great tool in the homeschool classroom.  My little ones love to use it to read.  I’m pleased with the ease of use and the fact that many of my college texts are available as ebooks.  Talk about a space saver!  Some of those texts weigh five pounds…

As for the rest of school.  Struggle to juggle.  If I’m keeping up with my studies, I feel like I’m cutting corners with their’s…if I do well with their studies, then I find I’m cutting corners with mine.  I’ve learned an important lesson.  I can’t do it all…I simply must take a lighter load next quarter or at least balance the type of classes I’m taking…

I am praying:  there are so many who need prayers right now.  But my heart is especially turned towards the upcoming election.  May God be merciful and not give us what we deserve, but we need.

In the garden:   The seed catalogs are here and hubby is making his list, checking it twice…plotting and planning for this year’s garden.  It’s nearly time to start our little seedlings.  Right now, I have a sweet little window box full of sprouting basil.  It’s quite pretty and the green shoots are full of the promise of spring…

Around the house:  Nativities that still need to be packed away.  Lots of scented candles.  Way too much laundry to put away.  But a lot less clutter, thanks to an early run this morning to the local thrift store….

On keeping home:  one dozen, thirty gallon trash bags full of old clothes and shoes dropped off at our local thrift store.  The entire back of the Expedition was filled.  As I said to my oldest son:  “That’s how much space we’ve saved in our home!”  It feels good to purge…this is just the beginning.  I’m starting the 40 Bag Challenge early!

One of my favorite things: technology that gives us an endless resource of reading, crafting and communication outlets.  The internet can be a serious problem when not used judiciously, but it is an absolute blessing in the life of this home educator, student, crafter, chef and mom…

A few plans for the rest of the week:  reading, de-cluttering, studying, teaching…and a lot of praying!  And thanking.  And praising.  God is good…all of the time!

A picture thought I’m sharing:

Christmas zipped past us…but here’s one of my favorite light-hearted moments with my two girlies playing dress up with their favorite ornaments…

Not our home…her home.  A single week of recuperation, the majority spent in two separate hospitals, in two different states…many consultations with specialists and therapists…appointments for follow-ups and assessments…and a new prescription:

Rest.

Her ability to rest is a miracle in itself.  That she walks, talks, breathes, smiles, laughs, weeps, rages, loves and lives is a wonder.  There is no way to discount the severity of her injuries, yet it’s easy to do so.  To look at her, talk to her, you’d never know that anything had ever happened.  Her face is as lovely as ever…her body is whole.

But inside her head…structurally and cognitively…there’s much to overcome.  Physically, she must wait to regain hearing in her right ear, while waiting for the partial facial paralysis to diminish.  Yet, with God all things are possible.  She received the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick from Father yesterday and within hours she experienced a peace of spirit she hasn’t had in sometime.  Her frustrations seemed less obvious, the outbursts, at least for now, are subsiding and I pray will soon be gone, all together…

She needs to rest.  Just rest and allow her poor skull and brain to continue the healing process.  Soon enough, she’ll begin therapy and slowly begin to return to daily activities.  I’m hopeful that her ability to see the big picture will return in full and she will realize just how very close to death she was.  85% of patients with her injuries are fatalities…the remainder are comatose or suffering from surgical interventions and great disability.  She has been spared so many things, but the future still holds much uncertainty…

…but isn’t it the same for all of us?  At any moment, all that we consider “fixed” can change.  To quote Meredith:  “I always knew what I was doing, how I felt, how my body would be…all of these things seemed fixed.  Until they weren’t.  It’s hard to know what to do next, but I’m going to try to sort it out.”

Sorting it out while she lives the new “normal.”  We’re sorting it out, too.  This has been and continues to be an emotional roller coaster.  Heights and depths; twists and turns.  Her family is at the ready, here to support and encourage her as she tries to make her way through this labyrinth…I only wish it weren’t from such a distance.  For now, I’m praising God that she does have her grandparents and sister close by…that she has friends who have promised to help and encourage her.   She wants nothing more than to enter the field of nursing.  She will do so with an entirely different perspective, I’m sure.

Thank you so much for your prayers and support.  This has been, quite frankly, the most trying experience I’ve ever undergone.  I feel emotionally and physically spent, wondering how on earth I can get back into the swing of home education and full-time college.  Once again…with God, all things are possible.

I’ll be leaning on Him, resting and trusting that all is according to His most holy will…

Blessings,

Kimberly

At the cross her station keeping,

Kneeling in the shadow of the Cross…this is the posture of most every mother at some time or other.  Yet…never have the words of the Stabat Mater resonated as deeply in my heart as they do now…

Throughout this ordeal with my daughter, the image of the Sorrowful Mother has been constantly before my eyes.  Perhaps it’s my own tear-stained, grief ridden visage that I recognize, as I gaze upon her.  Our Holy Mother, her heart broken, pierced and sorrowful, wept for sinful mankind…for the loss of her precious child…and prepared to be Mother to those who had abandoned and murdered her Son…

…stood the mournful mother weeping…

I weep too.  My child…my sweet, beautiful, compassionate yet imperfect girl…has been taken from me, at least figuratively for a time, by this horrible accident.  But I know that my heart must be pierced, too.  It must be.  This is the way of sorrow for all mothers who want nothing more than the salvation of their children.  God the Father didn’t spare His own son suffering…nor did He spare His mother the anguish of watching her precious child suffer…this is how sin was defeated, how life came to us all…how the gates of Heaven are opened.

Through her heart, His sorrow sharing,
all His bitter anguish bearing,
now at length the sword has passed.

Dear Father…pierce my heart…use this suffering to save souls, to help me work out my own salvation with fear and trembling.  Help me to follow in my daughter’s path of suffering, as faithfully as our Holy Mother followed Jesus to the Cross.  Allow me to help her bear the bitter anguish that she’s feeling as she is beginning to understand a bit better her limitations.  Help me to soothe the heartache, to be encouraging rather than condemning.  Help me, Father, that I desire nothing for her but that which leads her straight to You, no matter how difficult the path.

Holy Mother…come to the aid of your poor child.  Heal her heart first, turn it firmly towards your Son.  Help her to live in light and love…

She’s home with us now, but only for a time…long enough for her to prepare to journey back to Kentucky and a try at independence.  Please pray for her…there are so many risks, limitations and frustrations awaiting her.  May God bless you for your kindness…

Blessings,

Kimberly

Her release from the acute care ward of the Neurosciences floor was nothing short of miraculous…her lack of understanding of the severity of the injury, however, a troubling side effect of severe head trauma.

December 28th…

A pleasant evening…and then an odd morning.  She was slow…her walk…her speech…her mental accuity…and then there was the troublesome nasal discharge…CSF?  We called the neuro surgeon on call in Kentucky.

“Take her to OSU…”

And here we are.  Back again.  IVs and CAT scans…scary words like brain surgery, rehabilitation, long term implications, neuro-recovery…these are the new vocabulary words that fill our conversation.

She wept when she saw the CT scan…but it was the only way the neuro surgeons could convince her to stay and not leave.  “My head is so broken…”  Like a caged animal, she paced and raged in the small room that seem to close in on all her hopes and dreams…

And my heart breaks for her.  Because she wants to be gone.  To run away.  To be done with all this.  She’s so terrified of what’s ahead.  Everyone seems to be an enemy and every setback an insurmmountable obstacle.  Tomorrow:  another contrast CT to see if she’s leaking CSF or if there is a continuing bleed in an artery adjacent to the sphenoid sinus.

Her team of doctors and rehabilitative professionals are doing all they can to encourage her to stay here, in Columbus…but she doesn’t want to.

She fears dependence like nothing else right now…and she needs to be able to lean in and be held up for awhile.  Please pray for her comfort.  For peace of mind.  For enough cognitive function to make good decisions.  As an adult trauma patient, no one can force her to do even what’s best.  We want nothing more than her independence and good health…it’s so hard to feel that she sees her parents as supporting the “enemy…”

Oh, that my heart were lighter…that my faith were greater…but it is only grace that is carrying me along right now.  I’m spent…right to the last nickel.  But I do know that it’s usually when things are darkest that we see the Light.

Light of Christ…illuminate me!  Dispel the darkness…drive out despair…guide us to that perfect understanding of your holy will…

Blessings,

Kimberly

I keep vigil, waiting for her to return to us, fully and completely…I’m dazed…it all feels so unreal.  One moment, a healthy young girl is walking along a sidewalk, the next moment, a playful jump over a concrete planter, initiates a fall that results in a skull fracture, bleeding on both sides of her brain, a broken collar bone and what promises to be a long journey towards recovery…

Christmas at the hospital.  It is a sad, quiet place…but I’m thanking God for His mercy, for things could be so very much worse…

I thank Him for the little “warning” last night at midnight Mass…the gentle words that came in prayer before Mass, as I exulted in the “mountain top” feelings of grace that were raining down…a gentle voice, in the depths of my heart, reminded me:  “For every mountain top, there is a valley…”  I didn’t understand then, but I do now…

I thank Him for my precious priest…he, too, has suffered a fall…yet, he was so quick to offer prayer and support.  Meredith loves Father…and Father loves Meredith.  Two have fallen, two are healing…may God protect them from further ills!

I thank Him for precious friends, many of them, who quickly offered us vehicles (ours aren’t quite road worthy enough for an extended trip), child care, prayer, money for gas and expenses, filling goodie bags with snacks and water bottles…literally and figuratively raining down upon us “manna from heaven…”

I thank Him for my beautiful, older daughter who rushed to her sister’s side first, asking all the right questions, treating her so compassionately…having left her little son in the middle of a joyful Christmas morning…

I thank Him for my own sweet, young ones…so quick to say “Mommy…please…go to her…go now, go now!”  They give so much of their own joy away for the good of others…

I thank Him for my dear, oldest son…who quickly and confidently helped me pack and even accompanied me on the journey…insisting upon it, in fact.  The first fleeting smile that our Meredith gave was at the mention of her brother Zachary’s name.  She wanted her mommy…but she smiled for her brother…

I thank Him for this gift.  It truly is a hard one to unwrap.  I’m not sure how it will all work out, but I know the destination is grace…a journey towards heaven.

I thank Him that I’m here to love my girl.  To pray for her.  To stroke her hair, soothe her poor head…we’re spending Christmas together.  There’s no crib, no tree, just the colored lights on the monitors, and the cool beads of my new rosary, counting by decades towards the Cross.

I thank Him for the staff of the Neuroscience critical care ward.  For their kindness, solicitude and genuine caring.  They, too, are spending Christmas at the hospital…away from their families, offering themselves for those suffering.

I thank Him for every little sound she makes…for her anger and confusion in those brief, wakeful moments…she is conscious…breathing…living…and healing.

Merry Christmas, friends.  From a mom who’s keeping vigil, missing her hubby, home and children, but who is blessed with a heart full of hope and joy…may God bless, protect and give you peace!

Kimberly

Three candles burn shorter and shorter every night, the fourth ready to be lit this weekend…

Tomorrow begins the sprint, the finish line in sight, as we proceed quickly and surely towards the great feast of the Nativity!

Tomorrow we pray the Great “O” Antiphons…

Join us, will you?  The prayers are lovely…so are these beautiful plainsong chants:

~~~~~~~

December 17 – O Sapientia (O Wisdom)

O Wisdom that comest out of the mouth of the Most High, that reachest from one end to another, and orderest all things mightily and sweetly, come to teach us the way of prudence!

December 18 – O Adonai

O Adonai, and Ruler of the house of Israel, Who didst appear unto Moses in the burning bush, and gavest him the law in Sinai, come to redeem us with an outstretched arm!

December 19 – O Radix Jesse (O Root Of Jesse)

Root of Jesse, which standest for an ensign of the people, at Whom the kings shall shut their mouths, Whom the Gentiles shall seek, come to deliver us, do not tarry.

December 20 – O Clavis David (O Key Of David)

O Key of David, and Sceptre of the house of Israel, that openeth and no man shutteth, and shutteth and no man openeth, come to liberate the prisoner from the prison, and them that sit in darkness, and in the shadow of death.

December 21 – O Oriens (O Dayspring)

O Dayspring, Brightness of the everlasting light, Sun of justice, come to give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death!

December 22 – O Rex Gentium (O King of the Gentiles)

O King of the Gentiles, yea, and desire thereof! O Corner-stone, that makest of two one, come to save man, whom Thou hast made out of the dust of the earth!

December 23 – O Emmanuel

O Emmanuel, our King and our Law-giver, Longing of the Gentiles, yea, and salvation thereof, come to save us, O Lord our God!

Blessings,

It’s the Feast of St. Lucia…

A perfect day to bring light…

…and love to the world.

This sweet tradition has been celebrated for centuries, throughout the world. Little girls, crowned in holly and candles, bearing sweets and light.

My little ones have literally grown-up with this tradition.  From the time they were old enough to hold a candle aloft, they’ve awakened at dawn on St. Lucia’s Day, and dressed as the virgin-martyr, they’ve sang and served…

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

May the Light and Love of Christ fill your heart and soul, this day and every day after!

Blessings,

“Gaudete in Domino semper!” These are the words to take to heart…especially when the heart is broken and the reality of yet another deprivation looms before us.

We are still dressed for Mass. Hats and coats at the ready. Each festively attired for this lovely Sunday, each anxious for the privilege…yes, privilege…of attending Mass on a cold, December morning.

But the car won’t start. The battery is dead, beyond resurrection and it must be replaced…and we, once again, find ourselves offering up our desire to attend Mass, as a sacrifice to our good God.   We are learning, once again, what it means to “rejoice in the Lord…always!”  What more fitting way to honor Him, to glorify Him, than to accept all things, all trials and tribulations as coming from His hand for our good.

We prayed last night that He would truly keep us, in the spirit of Advent…we asked for the grace to wait and watch in joyful expectation for the real “reason for the season.”

So…as we did last Advent, we rejoice in His wisdom.  We rejoice in our desire to worship and receive Him.  We rejoice that He is glorified by our littleness.  Today we will live this, forbearing all things with thanksgiving:

“Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice; let your forbearance be known to all, for the Lord is near at hand; have no anxiety about anything, but in all things, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God.”

We will rejoice…in the Lord.

Always.

Blessings,

BTW…last year a holy priest revealed to another Catholic blogger that this tradition has very old roots in the monasteries of Europe.  We were delighted to discover this…it certainly adds depth to the tradition!  For those of you who’ve been readers for many years, you know how this works…for those of you with questions, here’s what we do:

Every year, for the past several years, our family has endeavored to emulate the virtues displayed by the various “characters” of the Nativity of our Lord. Slips of paper containing the names and virtues of each are folded and placed in a hat.

This year’s selections brought considerable laughter…once we ask the Holy Spirit to help us choose our slips, we do the “reveal” together.  Sweet Max!  For three years in a row, he’s the ox.  He wasn’t the slightest bit dismayed…he says he’s learning pretty well to be patient and to serve.  I agree!  Last year’s lamb is this year’s shepherd…she’s not exactly pleased.  She likes being little, but I think our Good God is asking my little one to grow up a bit.  We all have much to learn:  humility, obedience, docility…but what a wonderful season for those growing in virtue…

Here are the slips as they were drawn:

The Christmas Star: Daddy (everyone feels this was perfect for Dad…he’s so very steady and wise!)

Virtues: Provide a steady light to guide the weary pilgrims. A source of guidance and illumination.

The Angel: Abigail (she was very “proud” about this choice…we had to remind her what happened to the proud angels…she gave us a sheepish smile…)

Virtues: Proclaims the “tidings of great joy”. A source of inspiration. Obedient to the will of God.

Blessed Virgin: Mom (we all acknowledge that the one who chooses the “Mary slip” has a tough job ahead!  Mama Mary, help me to be a better mama!)

Virtues: Meek, humble, modest and pure. Full and complete obedience to God. Holiness.

St. Joseph: Zachary (my good young man is such a natural leader…now for that humility and obedience part!)

Virtues: Humility, leadership and humble trust in God. Chastity and patience

The Shepherd: Rylee (Last year’s lamb is growing up…)

Virtues: Leadership. Listens to God. Kindness to the “lambs.” Goodness.

The Lamb:  Michael (Time for a little more obedience and trust, dear Michael!)

Virtues: Docility, innocence, obedience and trust.

The Ox: Maximilian (hmm…three years in a row, Max…working towards perfection!)

Virtues: Hardwork and diligence. Patience and sacrifice.

The Donkey: Joseph (Mom had this one for 4 straight years…this is Joseph’s second, time to bear those burdens, son!)

Virtues: Humility and docility. Patiently bears all burdens.

We’re on our way, journeying towards Bethlehem…we hope to meet you there!

…there are more than a couple days and nights that require rain and storm gear, a flashlight and a good sense of humor when a couple hens decide to hide out in the garage.

Blessings,

Visit Peggy at The Simple Woman for more Daybook entries!

FOR TODAY – November 18th, 2011

Outside my window: fading light as dusk approaches…blue sky, bare branches and blowing leaves, crisp and dried upon the lawn.  Free ranging chickens scrabbling for the last bits of green…

I am listening to:  the chatter of the children in conversation with one another, discussing hiking memories…discussions about gloves and hats and this evening’s outing…

I am wearing : blue jeans tucked into black leather boots, cream turtleneck and a fallish-colored sweater jacket.  And bangs…I cut my hair a few days ago…long layers and bangs for the first time in several years.  I like it…

Gratitude list:  late night Adoration with the children, hot coffee on a cold day, teens who still like to go places with Mom and Dad, the delighted eyes of a child contemplated an evening at the Zoo, children who complete chores quickly, a teen son who’s not afraid to send a couple rowdy children up to their rooms for a little quiet time, first quarter of college pretty much complete…all A’s so far…

From the kitchen: Lots of gluten free goodies.  I’m getting pretty good this.  I don’t like it, but I’m learning to live with and to find more than satisfactory substitutes for my favorites.  More on that in another post.  I think it’s time that someone was really, really honest about a few of the products out there.  I’ve been let down by more than a couple recipes and products.  As for this evening:  sandwiches.  Just a quick bite as we head out to the Columbus Zoo’s Wildlights display. 

I am thinking: that college work has been a lot easier to juggle than I thought it would be.  I’m taking 15 hours in the upcoming quarter…and I’ve discovered that Algebra is my favorite subject.  Philosophy?  Meh.  I’ll take a straight-up quadratic equation over a philosophical quandary any day.  Composition has been relatively pleasant, though I’ve been pretty well shocked over the regular use of text-isms in essays and responses.  Does no one write anymore?  Grammar and content are problematic, but the text-isms are irritating to the extreme…

I am creating: simplified plans for Advent.  No mania, just our traditional activities.  We just finished creating a stack of ATCs for Kimberlee’s annual trade.  It was a lot of fun…

Towards a real education: Weather units and beginning Latin. Algebra and Physics. US History and Composition…and for mom: Philosophy and Writing…with an ugly dose of Algebra to make it all worthwhile…certainly odd to teach Algebra and take it at the same time!

I am praying: for Matthew Wise, a young man who’s been in intensive care for quite a few weeks now, as well as a small child who will have brain surgery in December, and for a dear homeschooling mom who just had surgery for thyroid cancer and is recovering.  Would you join me in prayer?  Thanks!

In the garden: Shhhh…the garden is sleeping….

Around the house: a good deal more order, but a lot of laundry.  That will change after a weekend of marathon washing and drying.  Thank you, Lord, for my laundry room!

On keeping home: hoping to do a bit of sprucing up for Thanksgiving.  I would really like to paint a couple rooms, but I’m not sure that’s realistic.  We’ll see…

One of my favorite things:  Columbus Zoo’s Wildlights.  Can’t wait to go this evening…the kiddos are joyfully preparing as I type…

A few plans for the rest of the week: school work Monday thru Wednesday and then the long weekend off with Daddy.  I’m looking forward to completing a few crafts…

A picture thought I’m sharing:

Row 1:  Michael’s ATCs:  St. Aloysius Gonzaga, St. Patrick, St. Michael, St. Anthony, St. Francis

Row 2:  Maximilian’s ATCs:  Our Lady Of Guadalupe, St. Maximilian Kolbe, St. Nicholas, St. Francis, St. Pio

Row 3:  Mom’s ATCs:  Theotokos, St. Gabriel, St. Pio, St. Nicholas, Blessed Seelos

Row 4:  Abigail’s ATCs:  St. Margaret, St. Lucy, St. Rose, St. Bernadette, St. Mary Magdalene

Row 5:  Rylee’s ATCs:  St. Elizabeth Seton, St. Dominic, Blessed Mother Teresa, St. Joseph, St. Lucia

All day, he’d watched her.  She was so beautiful, so serene; her smile radiated warmth, love and joy.  Now she was in someone else’s arms.  Earlier in the afternoon he’d approached her, shyly, and then boldly asked:

“Mom…can I have her?”

“She” was a statue, a lovely statue of Our Lady of Grace.  Nearly a foot tall and a mere $4.00, she graced the table at the Christian Mother’s Bazaar, beaming her sweet smile at passers-by.  Max fell in love instantly.

I gazed into his beautiful eyes and whispered:  “Well, sweetie…it’s like this.  Payday is in two days.  I have no cash…”

He was heartbroken.  I thought for a moment and then offered the following:

“Okay…here’s what we’ll do.   If no one buys her by the end of the day, then I’ll ask if I can put your name on her, and when we have the money, we’ll purchase her.  Meanwhile, we’ll keep her here.   How’s that?”

He smiled.  And pulled a chair over to the table, watching over his statue, hoping against hope that no one would purchase her.  The day progressed, the table slowly emptied of its goods, the statue of Our Lady, hands outstretched, stood untouched in the center.

And then she came…

…a sweet little Franciscan nun, clad in a rough brown garment, bare toes peeking from beneath the hem, her soft veil falling below her belted waist and dangling rosary.  She lovingly fingered the statue, and with a sigh, moved down the table towards two framed images of the Blessed Mother of our Lord.

“Hello, Sister!  Can I help you?”  I inquired.

“Oh…no.  But, maybe, yes!  Would you be so kind as to add a little card to the two framed images of our Lady, as well as that beautiful statue?  Perhaps you could write on the card that the Sisters would very much like to have a statue of our Lady in our chapel, but we have no money.  And two of my Sisters have no images of our Lady in their rooms.   Perhaps one of your customers would like to make a donation…”

A sharp intake of breath from my good young man, still seated in vigil…

I glanced at him, offered him a brave and cheerful smile, and quickly grabbed the two images and the statue and began wrapping them for Sister.

“Sister…please take these items.  Our family wishes to gift them to you and the other Sisters…”   I nestled the three paper wrapped items into a shopping bag, and joyfully presented them to her, quite sure that this was exactly what our Lord wished.  It was a grace moment…

At first she refused, but after my insistence, she smiled broadly, asked me my name, promised prayers for our family and swiftly moved aside to show the other Sisters their gifts.

I turned, knelt and gazed into those tear-filled blue eyes of my young son…

“Are you okay?  I’m so sorry, Max.  I really felt that Jesus was asking us to give those things to the Sisters.  Can you forgive me for giving her the statue you wanted?”

He sighed and wiped his tears, “I don’t understand why you could just give the statue to her, but not to me…don’t you still have to pay for it?”

I sighed.  “Yes, Max…I do.  Though I’m pretty sure the Christian Mothers would just insist on making those items gifts for the Sisters, I want our family to bear that sweet burden and I’ll pay the Confraternity on Wednesday at the meeting.   You see, Max…the Sisters have a real need and we can help.  You really liked that statue didn’t you, but you didn’t “need” it, did you?  But what if that sweet Sister had seen you walking with that beautiful statue and had merely commented on her beauty?  Or what if she’d said she wished the convent had a statue like that…what would you have done?”

He beamed a big, beautiful smile through his tears and said, “I’d have given it to her…”

I smiled.  “Well guess what…you just did!   No one here but you and Sister wanted that statue.  I knew that you would give it to her, sweetie.  I knew you wouldn’t deny the Sisters that gift.  How do you feel now?”

“Really good.  I hope the Sisters are very happy…”  he said, and wiped away the last of his tears.

“They are, Max.  And they’re praying for us.  There’s no gift more precious than the one they’ve given to us!”

Yesterday, our family received an unexpected blessing in the midst of a crisis.  Max is quite sure that the power of those good Sisters’ prayers’ aided us in our time of need.

I’m quite sure he’s right…and I’m quite sure I’ll be looking for a very special statue of our Lady for someone’s Christmas!

Blessings,

Max, age 11, and Abi, age 10, have long been good buddies…the two closest together in the family, yet most opposite in personality.  Abi is flamboyant and vivacious.  Max, reserved and a bit shy.  The only thing they share are their fiery tempers, often bickering like a couple of magpies.  Nonetheless, these petty differences don’t really seem to matter so much, and they frequently confide in one another.

Today, Max invited Abi to follow him to the woods.  My budding photographer loves to take pictures and wondered if Abi would come along with him.

He took these…they’re really quite good!

And then she took this one…her solitary brother, walking home.  Sweet.

These lazy, fall days are quickly concluding.  Soon the bitterness of winter will set in and these afternoon jaunts will have to be postponed.   What a blessing to have two young ones who want to preserve the days in pictures, as much as their mother wishes to with words…

Blessings,

October 31st marks All Hallow’s Eve. For most of us, we fondly remember our childhood…anxiously awaiting the time that we would don our costumes and venture into the cold, frosty evening to beg for candy from our friends and neighbors.

Times have changed. Many families have opted to avoid acknowledging All Hallow’s Eve, opting for All Saint’s Day celebrations and Fall Festivals at local Protestant churches. While all of these endeavours are noteworthy and laudable, I’m a bit concerned by what I see as a trend to “turn-over” one day of the year to the forces of evil and bow to the pressures of political correctness.

Until recently, I lived for many years in a predominately Protestant community. I’ve seen the effects of the demonization of All Hallow’s Eve. I’ve been presented with the Jack Chick tracts. I’ve witnessed the first hand campaign and political pressure that local churches have placed upon officials to suppress the observance of All Hallow’s Eve.

Recently, I’ve watched the Muslim community (with near success) lobby to have both Christmas and All Hallow’s Eve suppressed at a local school in Illinois, finally accepting the addition of Ramadan to the holiday observances.

These are not the actions of the satanists, wiccans or pagans.

In the past, it was the practice of the Holy Roman Catholic Church to take a pagan holiday and Christianize it. It seems that the tide has turned. We have now given over this day.  Joining the ranks of quite a few Protestants and Muslims, our boycott has all the appearance of a surrender. Interestingly enough, the day we have given over, October 31st, isn’t the day that satanists have chosen as their “feast”…here is a quote from the Vatican’s chief exorcist, Fr. Gabriel Amorth:

“Here it is on Christmas Eve that the Satanists have their orgies. Nothing happens on October 31. But if English and American children like to dress up as witches and devils on one night of the year that is not a problem. If it is just a game, there is no harm in that.”

I don’t believe I would ever wish any of my children to dress as witches and devils, but it is easy to grasp the point that Fr. Amorth is making. (Remember: this is the same Fr. Amorth who is vehemently opposed to the Harry Potter books. He is intensely concerned with the protection of souls.) From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

“All forms of divination are to be rejected: recourse to Satan or demons, conjuring up the dead or other practices falsely supposed to “unveil” the future. Consulting horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and recourse to mediums all conceal a desire for power over time, history, and, in the last analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden powers. They contradict the honor, respect, and loving fear that we owe to God alone.” (Catechism, #2116)

So…this year Little Red Riding Hood and a Ninja will approach generous donors for candy alms. Accompanied an Army Chaplain and a U.S. Marine, they’ll brave the other ghouls and goblins, princesses and super heroes. We are reclaiming All Hallow’s Eve. A merry band of Catholic children dressed as fairy tale characters and real-life heroes, each with the understanding that on the heels of the Feast Of Christ the King, a powerful Christian witness is just what the world needs…

Blessings,

When the Frost is on the Punkin

By James Whitcomb Riley

When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock,
And you hear the kyouck and gobble of the struttin’ turkey-cock,
And the clackin’ of the guineys, and the cluckin’ of the hens,
And the rooster’s hallylooyer as he tiptoes on the fence;
O, it’s then’s the times a feller is a-feelin’ at his best,
With the risin’ sun to greet him from a night of peaceful rest,
As he leaves the house, bareheaded, and goes out to feed the stock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock.

They’s something kindo’ harty-like about the atmusfere
When the heat of summer’s over and the coolin’ fall is here—
Of course we miss the flowers, and the blossums on the trees,
And the mumble of the hummin’-birds and buzzin’ of the bees;
But the air’s so appetizin’; and the landscape through the haze
Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days
Is a pictur’ that no painter has the colorin’ to mock—
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock.

The husky, rusty russel of the tossels of the corn,
And the raspin’ of the tangled leaves, as golden as the morn;
The stubble in the furries—kindo’ lonesome-like, but still
A-preachin’ sermuns to us of the barns they growed to fill;
The strawstack in the medder, and the reaper in the shed;
The hosses in theyr stalls below—the clover over-head!—
O, it sets my hart a-clickin’ like the tickin’ of a clock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock!

Then your apples all is gethered, and the ones a feller keeps
Is poured around the celler-floor in red and yeller heaps;
And your cider-makin’ ’s over, and your wimmern-folks is through
With their mince and apple-butter, and theyr souse and saussage, too! …
I don’t know how to tell it—but ef sich a thing could be
As the Angels wantin’ boardin’, and they’d call around on me—
I’d want to ’commodate ’em—all the whole-indurin’ flock—
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock!

First, the apples…a bushel and a half.  As I type, some of the fruits of our labors are simmering in the crockpot; the scent of homemade cinnamon applesauce fills the air:

Then, the pumpkins.  Is there anything as jolly as field of pumpkins?  Big ones, small ones, fat ones, tall ones…something for everyone!

But what do you do, when the back hatch is filled to capacity with apples, cider, gourds and squash?  How do you carry six enormous pumpkins?  On your lap, of course!  With much hilarity, as dad intentionally hit every bump he could, taking every turn as sharply as possible…prolonging that 30 mile trip home…the children took it all with great humor.

What joy to trade a nap for memories…

Blessings,

Impatient.

Standing in a check-out line with four young children in tow was certainly not my idea of the perfect end to an already frustrating day. The cashier was quite young, as evidenced by her uncertainty as to how to look up price discrepancies, process WIC vouchers and deal, in general, with the growing displeasure of the long line of customers that stretched beyond that black belt and endless stream of merchandise. The children whined, the inevitable fallout of such a long wait, surrounded by the devilishly clever enticements that daily torment parents undergoing the same hellishly long wait, their plaintive cries for ‘this and that’ only added to the irritation of the other shoppers. Yes. I was “that mom,” the one with “too many kids” and not nearly enough patience an hour before dinner time. I looked at the flustered face of the cashier as I slowly approached the place of liberation. She couldn’t have been more than seventeen, a petite girl with mousy brown hair and freckles; she looked a lot like me at the same age. As much as I wanted to feel compassion, the glares of the other customers directed towards my noisy children and the endlessly long wait seemed to preclude that possibility. Finally, face to face I muttered my own frustrated and not-so-sincere “how are you?” She didn’t reply, intent upon the job at hand as she rang up products as quickly as possible, no doubt aware of the rude comments uttered from the long line of those who still waited. I placated my tired children with promised treats after dinner, which temporarily quieted them and with great relief, handed the cashier a $50 bill for the total. At this point, one of the children wailed, and I just couldn’t stand it any longer. The equally flustered cashier practically whispered “sorry for your wait…” I didn’t acknowledge her apology, but grabbed my change and fled the store as quickly as possible. Three steps from the door, I counted the cash in my hand.

Hmm. I looked at the receipt and noticed that the cashier had mistakenly given me change for $100 instead of the $50 that I had handed her. The children looked at me expectantly: “What’s wrong, mommy?” was the unanimous response. “The cashier gave me too much money back. Rats. Now we have to go back…” I said. “Can we keep it?” the youngest innocently queried. Ah. Yes. The temptation. A chance for retribution. I could have punished the corporate beast and the inept cashier in one fell swoop and simply walked out with compensation for my ridiculously long wait. I looked at the expectant faces around me. I am an honest person, but it would be patently dishonest to say that I didn’t seriously consider the aforementioned scenario. Those sweet, innocent faces…what message would I convey by my lack of mercy and, let’s face it folks, theft? And then I looked at that poor cashier. What would happen when her register turned up on even $50 short? She would be out of job, labeled a thief.

No.

I couldn’t do it. I pondered taking the money directly to the service desk, but knew that she would probably receive a reprimand and perhaps even dismissal. So I stood in that long line again and waited to give her the $50, so she could slip it back into the register, hopefully unnoticed. As I explained to the children what I was doing and why, they were blessedly quiet, even patient. The look on this young girl’s face when I told her what she’d done and then handed her the money was priceless. I purchased a pack of M & M’s for the children so she’d have a reason to open her register and slip in the fifty. “Thank you! Thank you so much…I can’t afford to lose this job!” she tearfully whispered. “No problem,” I joyfully replied and sincerely offered “have a nice day!”

The four children present that day still remember. It has served as an example in so many different ways for all of us. An act of kindness and mercy can undo so much. Honesty is and always will be the best policy. Maintaining grace under pressure is a challenge that every human being on this earth will be called to exercise more than once and even small acts of kindness can turn the most seemingly insignificant event into a life lesson.

Blessings,

Here’s an ode to September…we must mark her before she slips away into October’s Bright Blue Weather!

SEPTEMBER

The goldenrod is yellow,
The corn is turning brown,
The trees in apple orchards
With fruit are bending down;

The gentian’s bluest fringes
Are curling in the sun;
In dusty pods the milkweed
Its hidden silk has spun;

The sedges flaunt their harvest
In every meadow nook,
And asters by the brookside
Make asters in the brook;

From dewy lanes at morning
The grapes’ sweet odors rise;
At noon the roads all flutter
With yellow butterflies–

By all these lovely tokens
September days are here,
With summer’s best of weather
And autumn’s best of cheer.

~Helen Hunt Jackson~

Blessings,

Visit Peggy at The Simple Woman for more Daybook entries!

FOR TODAY – September 13th, 2011

Outside my window: delicious breeze tossing leaves, blowing zinnias and impatiens.  Bright blue sky speckled with swiftly moving cumulus clouds

I am listening to:  scholars at work.  Conversations regarding the Constitution and states’ rights…chattering siblings discussing cumulo-nimbus clouds and whether teepees are really waterproof…windchime outside the classroom window…

I am wearing :  blue jeans and a soft ecru j jill sweater…

Gratitude list:  Relief on last Tuesday.  For news that my sweet Abigail does not have an optic nerve tumor.  After a weekend of nightmarish proportions, following a disturbing trip to an inexperienced optometrist, a very thorough examination revealed that the “anomaly” in Abigail’s right eye is congenital Optic Nerve Drusen.  Combined with astigmatism, intermittent esotropia and farsightedness, we now have an explanation for her blurry vision…and one that we can most certainly live with.  We also learned a very important lesson:  when it comes to eye health, an ophthalmalogist is the best bet…we’ll save our visit to the optometrist for filling glasses and contact lens prescriptions.  Praising God for such good news…you never know real joy until you’ve imagined the very worst…thanking my dear friends for all their prayers and encouraging words!

I am reading:  Consoling The Heart Of Jesus.  A must read, do-it-yourself retreat.  I had the extreme privilege of attending a weekend retreat with Fr. Michael Gaitley…it was amazing…life changing.  I feel so very privileged to have had such good spiritual food this year:  from the Dayton Homeschool Conference, to the Christian Mother’s morning retreat and then Fr. Gaitley’s retreat last month.  God is so good…

From the kitchen:  Ah, me.  It appears that I’m truly and horribly wheat allergic.  All those wonderful bread recipes…biscuits, cakes and cookies…are no more.  At present, I can’t even place my hands in flour.  This is heartbreaking, but I’m learning a new normal and so far, so good.  No more rashes and hives.  No more pain and joint swelling…and, yes…all of this came to light after I completed my juice fast.  I tried to go back to my pre-fast diet…changing the quantities, but hoping against hope that gluten or wheat was not the problem.  When I began experiencing hives all over my body, I tried to blame it on everything except the one thing that remained a constant in my diet.  Bread.  Wheat.  This Sunday I received the confirmation that I’d been dreading…so now I’m wheat-free.  I won’t pretend to be “on-board” with this.  I’m so frustrated.  But so much has changed since I’ve cut out wheat products.  So…tonight’s menu:  Meatloaf (no italian bread crumbs…sigh), garlic mashed potatoes, fresh green beans with rosemary, spiced peaches.  No too bad…

I am thinking:  about school.  Two days in now…things are going quite well!  Also…thinking about being a student.  Yes.  I’m enrolled full time as a college student…finally pursuing a degree.  Every time I’ve tried before, life has stepped in.  The last time I enrolled full time, I discovered shortly after that I was pregnant with my second child…and quickly dropped out.  As challenging as my daily schedule is, I think I can manage this…at least I’m going to try.  Most of my courses are online (thank Heaven for community colleges!) and I’ll attend one lecture per week on campus.  St. Thomas Aquinas, patron of students…pray for me!

I am creating:  I can knit!!  I can crochet!!  I can use scissors!! The sky is the limit…since the juice fast and now the elimination of all wheat products, I’ve regained the use of my hands!  It’s wonderful…I’ve crocheted slippers and I’m knitting a super-cute headscarf/neck kerchief.  Oh…it feels so good!

Towards a real education:  Weather units and beginning Latin.  Algebra and Physics.  US History and Composition…and for mom:  Philosophy and Writing…with an ugly dose of Algebra to make it all worthwhile…certainly odd to teach Algebra and take it at the same time!

I am praying:  for continued good health for friends and family.  So many are suffering…so many with children facing so many challenges.  For the unemployed.  For the brokenhearted and friendless.  For our world and church leaders…

In the garden:  my poor, poor garden.  We have summer squash.  We have zucchini and the saddest looking tomatoes, ever.   But nothing else…we lost all to a horrible fungus that took over the garden and destroyed all our other crops.  For the first time in thirty years, we’ll have very little to preserve.  Unless I make it to the farmer’s market and purchase fresh veggies for preservation, this is where it all stands…

Around the house:   a nice, tidy, reorganized classroom.  Everything needs a good coat of paint, but I’m loving the new art center we set up and the functionality of the space.  I realize that I’m truly blessed to have a space devoted to the education of the children.  They spend so much time in this room…even after school.  It seems to invite creativity…

On keeping home:  A new development!  Mom no longer does any kitchen work, other than cooking!  My guys are cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom every night…I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful this is…this is their contribution towards mom going to college.  Everyone chose a task to give me a couple extra hours per day…my heart swells with their generosity!  It makes all the difference…

One of my favorite things:  beautiful, windy, September days.  A hot bowl of ribollita, eaten on the front porch in the midst of this fallish weather.  Delightful!

A few plans for the rest of the week:  continue to establish our daily school rhythm.  And prepare for a good deal of homework…

A few picture thoughts I’m sharing:

Lovely September sunset…

Sunflowers against a bright blue sky…

Strutting roosters and cackling hens…

Children playing, learning…nature the best teacher…

Building…through blood and sweat…and a mother’s tears (after a visit to the ER where we learned that the thumb wasn’t broken…)

Rocking away the afternoon…a knitter’s paradise…a real joy after six months of hand pain…

Amongst the curious cats and catnappers…

A day in the country is worth a month in town…

Blessings,