And the Apostles said to Jesus, Lord increase our faith. And the Lord said:
If you had faith like to a grain of mustard seed, you might say to this mulberry tree, Be thou
rooted up, and be thou transplanted into the sea: and it would obey you.
(Luke 17:5-6)
Faith.
It is a gift, not a given. How many times have I chastised myself (and others) for a lack of faith? God alone bestows it, we can’t manufacture it, nor can we ever truly fake it. Wrapped in thorns, this gift can be one of the most painful we will ever open, and yet its beauty transcends every earthly reward. Pushing past fear, sometimes daring only to peek inside, I’ve often missed its splendor, shrouded in suffering…
And then I pray…
I pray for an increase in faith. “Lord…give me a bigger, bolder faith!” But do I really mean that? Am I willing to accept the consequences of spiritual growth, moving from complacency to a life poured out in complete sacrifice, and ultimately embrace the test that must come when one steps out in total trust?
That is a bigger, bolder faith. Oh, Lord…that I might embrace the cross, conform my will, trusting that every transitory thing has nothing in it, that all that isn’t You shouldn’t be me, either.
I need a mustard seed, that grain of faith that will cast doubt and fear into the sea, as readily as a mulberry bush. May God grant it and I so will it, that I might love and serve in a bigger, bolder way!
Blessings,
I am a traditional Catholic homeschooling mother of 9 children, married for 30 years to the most patient and sainted man. As converts to Catholicism in 1991, our family has only recently discovered the beauty and full expression of our beliefs in the timeless liturgy of antiquity, the Extraordinary Form also commonly referred to as the Traditional Latin Mass. An avid knitter, I also enjoy gardening, reading and immersing myself in the everyday graces of my vocation.
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Catholic Family Vignettes 
November 18, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Kimberly, I loved this post! So true… We want faith but realize it’s not like fairy dust sprinkled on our heads – that there will be something in our life that will require us to step up to the plate. That “unknown” factor can shake us. God bless you for your honesty. I’m right there with you.
Also, you inspired my last post and I gave you a “shout-out.” 🙂 Keep on rolling!
November 20, 2009 at 11:48 am
Kimberly,
Thank you for this post. I have been going through a difficult trial. I believe this trial was brought on by my pressing in to the Lord and deepening my obedience to the teachings of the church. I have thanked God for this trial and the hard lessons I have learned. The article that first brought me to your blog, has helped me in my present trial. (childrens services) Having read your article helped me to handle the attack on my family. Even though I have walked through fire, I have not been burned! The biggest trial has been to keep my heart from being resentful and angry. Thank you for your wisdom.
Connie