Lego: from the Danish, LEg GOdtplay well. Incidentally, the Latin translation of lego“I put together,” or “I gather.”

If you have boys, then you have, without doubt, purchased, “gathered”, and whilst, barefooted, stepped upon any number of these bold and bright building blocks.

And, if you have boys, you are probably well aware of the Lego creed:

I build, therefore I am…

For those of you who are not aware of the “rule of Lego,” I offer the following list to enlighten you:

#1.  Never, ever refer to Legos as mere “toys.”  As a young man reminded me today, they are “advanced building system blocks.”  Not…toys.  I stand corrected.

#2.  Never, ever refer to Duplos as Legos.  This is heresy, though both are manufactured and bear the same company logo, no self-respecting Lego builder would be caught dead playing with his sister’s Duplos.  At least, not in the presence of witnesses…

#3.  If, by chance, you happen to find a minutely small, seemingly insignificant piece and are tempted to throw it away, rest assured that the owner of said piece will within moments, describe in detail, the “lost” piece.  There is no such thing as an extra or unneeded Lego building block…

#4.  Lego sets?  HA!  No self-respecting Lego builder allows himself to be limited by a “set” or something as unnecessary as “directions.”  In the land of Lego, all parts are created equal, although some parts are more equal than others…

#5.  If you buy them, they will build weapons.  Tanks.  Helicopters and aircraft carriers.  And engage in non-bloody battles that will result in a shower of Legos and screams of agony as the builder realizes that his one of a kind creation is no more…and then he’ll build something even better…

#6. The most recent Lego catalog will be fought over by building enthusiasts of all ages, and the endless “hey, mom…did you see this?” litany will ring daily in your ears.  Until, of course, the catalog is, ahem, “accidentally” misplaced.

#7.  If you own a digital camera, you will soon notice a digital photo file labeled “Lego pics.”  These pics will be utilized to form a stop action video to be posted on Youtube, for other discerning Lego video enthusiasts…

#8.  Pink, purple and turquoise are not Lego colors…no matter what your little sister says…

#9.  You will never, ever convince the  young man, who has just discovered a homemade Lego “bomb” on his Imperial Cruiser, that this bomb ISN’T REAL! It’s called the Lego Honor System.  If an assailant manages to plant a “bomb” on your Imperial Cruiser, well, then…it’s been marked for destruction.  No matter what your mother says…

and, finally:

#10.  Legos are legos.  There are no substitutes…no matter what your mother, or the makers of Mega Blocks say…

Blessings,